Domestic Abuse… Why Does She (or He) Stay ? (Once More, A Bit Personal…)

*Notice: I have spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to approach these posts regarding domestic abuse, and I think I will be writing a bit differently when posting them. The facts are still very much raw wounds to me, and the wounds are deepened daily. I am not in danger myself anymore, but the person I love is. However, I refuse to leave until she comes with me. So to conclude…I will write a bit different anytime I speak of domestic abuse… It has forever been, in one way or another, an on going issue. Soon, I hope that changes.*

                     Now on to the post!

Two things I hate hearing when speaking of domestic abuse… “If he is so horrible why does she* stay? He seems like a nice guy to me, he wouldn’t hurt a fly!“  Or, the even worse, “He may lose his temper or have lost his temper with her, but she hasn’t left him, so he couldn’t be THAT bad of a guy.”

Come to think of it, there are quiet a few things I hate hearing regarding abuse; most of them said by people who have never lived in an abusive household or relationship.

Back to the topic of this post… Why does she stay? …

I can’t speak for everyone, only speak from what I know, have seen and from research. So first I want to say… just like with having a loved one fall into addiction, I know it is beyond depressing and frustrating to watch a loved one stay in an abusive relationship. No matter what “kind” of abuse; be it emotional/mental/verbal abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse or physical abuse…it is almost harder on the loved ones who have to see it happening than to the victim, because there is really nothing much for the “watchers” to do.

After so many years of seeing abuse,