…And the forgotten. That was me, searching for answers, looking for other women who felt as I was feeling during pregnancy. I searched the internet for hours, not knowing the terms to look for, being faced with ridiculous and religious hate posts instead discouraged me from seeking out other women who had been in (or still was) in the place I was in.
I was then pregnant for the first time, and didn’t fully come to terms with this reality until a few weeks in when I began to feel the changes and realize me and my husband’s life would change forever. Not only this, but it strengthened my flashbacks and other mental issues. I continued to search for anyone to talk to about everything; the situation I was in.
But depression during pregnancy still was something the majority of people only spoke of as being “antenatal depression” and I could find very little at the time I needed it most on mental health, pregnancy and abortion. I wanted my pregnancy done, or my life over.
So, the reason I am going to write on depression, mental health and abortion is because that was a huge part of my story, and I hope to offer women a place on my site to see they are not alone nor are they evil for how they feel.
In my opinion, why a woman has an abortion is her own, and that’s all there is to it. If it is right for you for, reason does not matter. It doesn’t mean you are any more right or wrong for having an abortion. The above photo/quote is the truth about abortion for it is no one’s business but your own, and abortion is a medical procedure; nothing more.
But the reason I am speaking about myself at the moment is again, because I want to reach out to any and all women who may be in a similar situation as me. In hopes that any one struggling with depression, mental health and even antenatal depression will find something useful here.
I want to give attention to the much neglected topic of depression, mental health and suicidal thoughts (antenatal depression). While tons of women with mental illness can be amazing parents, I would not have made one of them. My story doesn’t end with mental issues and depression as most don’t. But it is exactly what I think people need to feel more open to talking about.
And of course abortion is not the answer to all who feel these things while pregnant, but for those who are hurting so bad they want an abortion, there should be ready and safe access to have one.
I remember how horrific it was, how terrifying it was just worrying about the cost and the travel to get there. But I had the option and funding help from places like the Lilth Fund whom I am forever grateful for. I was able to have my abortion and keep my life. Abortion is not murder. When in your heart you know it is right, that is exactly what it is. The right thing to do.
My heart aches, truly aches, and trembles in fear thinking of the women who feel like I did but don’t have the same legal right to this medical procedure I had…and this wasn’t even a year ago. I had my abortion in Texas, knowing it was an option was the only thing that kept me going until I was able to actually go through the procedure.
And I don’t regret it for one second.
If anti-choicers were half as Pro-Life as they claim to be they would consider a) the woman’s health and well being-not to mention her own personal dreams regarding what is happening in her life; and b) if they truly believe a fetus that will become an infant after birth should grow up in a healthy environment, they should understand some women make the choice to abort out of love. Out of wanting better for the life of a child.
Bringing a child into this world is not something to take lightly. I feel abortion should be readily available for any woman who wants one; regardless of her reasons! Her reasons are her own and none of your concern.
I am not anti-child; I love kids. But because of my childhood and that of many others, I would never say bringing a child into a world where it is unwanted or cannot be taken care of properly is not only harmful to the child, but the mother as well. Knowing that you are not ready for a child or do not want a child and seeking out abortion, be it early or late-term does NOT make you evil! I cannot stress that enough!
I am fed up with people saying they regret their abortion- why? I believe the majority of women whom claim they regret it only do so because too many in society attack strong women for doing what she knew in her heart to be best at that time. Of course some women actually do regret it and that is okay, but letting the fear tactic which anti’s try and use, such as “regret” of choice, shouldn’t sway your feelings. From the women I’ve spoken to, most feel the same as I do…A weight lifted.
I feel relief, like many others. I saved myself, and a child from being wrongfully brought into a world that would have damaged it horribly. The reason I am so deeply pro-abortion is because the number of anti choicers out there, spreading lies, trying to demean women and make abortion back alley again is disgusting and I can’t stand to see how they make women suffer. So I refuse to say I am only “pro-choice”-I also am proud to say I am also proudly pro-abortion.
So that is the first abortion essay/article I will have up within the next few days- mainly because I feel horrible for anyone who feels as I felt who feel there is no where to go. It does not mean I do not understand other reasons by any means nor does it mean I think abortion should be conditional. I think it should be for any and everyone who feels it is right for them.
In addition, I also will have an essay/article up asap regarding why I am against adoption (doesn’t mean I think people should not have the CHOICE to- simply that I personally think abortion is the most morale way to go. Remember, you are not committing a murder, you are not slaying anyone; having an abortion simply means you knew it was the right thing to do.
I want to make sure any one who does in fact find my page hopefully will realize they are not alone, they are not evil, and depression during pregnancy is just as strong, severe and real as postpartum depression.
And for the interested, over the weeks to come this website will be a bit more organized… I will be linking all abortion related links on their own page for easy access, the same with abuse, police brutality, etc. I also will be creating a new site in hopes of expanding the topics I write about.
Again, please do not feel you are bad or wrong in having an abortion if you’ve had or want an abortion for any other reason than the piece I am currently working on. Abortion is not a crime nor a sin- it is life saving whether it saves you from death or saves your dreams of going to school, working, living a child-free life or whatever other reason you want to throw in there...Nothing makes any woman bad for having an abortion.
Feeling depression (and/or other) and suicidal thoughts/feelings during pregnancy, does not make you a bad person. Just as considering and/or having an abortion due to these feelings does not make you a bad person, either.
So! that is one of a few projects I will be working on- including a ton of domestic violence info and writings.
I’ll either create a new site or page for this as well. Things will be much more organized and I hope helpful in the near future.
I’m gonna end this once more by repeating myself…
Abortion is not a sin, not a crime, not bad, no matter when you have it, if you know it to be right for you…then that is what makes it right. You know in your heart, follow your own heart and soul… Deep inside you know what is right for you… And that is what matters; not what these anti choice people think.