This is just the first part of what I will expand on later this morning, I’m way too emotional right now over the seriousness of this topic, and the lack of empathy, understanding and care received. So, this blog is not finished but I think it gives the idea. I will re-post it as a new blog later today when it is completed as I intend on putting in a lot more detail and information. For now, I’m just gonna speak from my heart.
Before I begin, a song based on a true story (stories)- and it makes me wonder … a lot of things about how the anti-choice, anti-woman mind works.
No pity or sympathy or whatever else wanted this is just real and relevant as hell to why I believe the way I do.
I grew up without either of my parents. I saw them on and off all of my life, sometimes one would live next door so I could watch them raise another woman’s children. I’ve seen the horrors of “Foster homes” and I’ve seen the horrors of Foster “care”. Later I will go into a bit more detail of what “Foster Care” and the world of “Adoption” is like from someone who has lived it; ME. As opposed to some anti-choice person who has never had to see the insides of these childhood prisons.
Let me first say being pro-choice does not mean I think the answer to any of these issues is automatically abortion. Children are born into all sort of circumstances and can come out on top and thriving. What I AM saying is women should have the choice to do what is right for them and the fetus.
I am very much against adoption for numerous reasons, mainly because I lived it. I was fortunate though because one of my grandmother’s was also against adoption and saved me at an age most children are pretty much written off for ever being saved. That’s a strong woman.
Also, a large reason for why I would personally never give up a child for adoption is because of how many children are abandon in these places, the abuse that goes on, etc. I’ll add later when I come and edit this blog but for now I will say if you have given up your child for adoption, you aren’t bad. Just as if a person has had an abortion, they are not bad. These are my beliefs, based on my life. I am not intending on hurting anyone, instead, I hope someone will learn something or get something out of what I write.
I also am not saying if a person gets pregnant and their so called man leaves abortion is the way to go. I know some amazing single parents; in fact, one of the best I know is a male. But the majority are women, and they all raised great kids, who sadly, for the most part, went on to continue that legacy.
And that’s fine; I respect and love most of the single parent’s I know. And no, abortion would have been wrong for them. Because it isn’t in black and white. It is up to the individual person. Why is that so hard for you anti-choice to understand?
So, my view on single parents and abortion is really rather simple…. so… to put it simply, the reason I both support single parents having abortion, as well as single parents not having abortions is this: if the mother of my friends and millions of people I don’t know who grew up in single mother homes felt they wanted the pregnancy, then they have nothing but my love and respect. I am glad they kept the kid because it is what they WANTED! That’s their RIGHT and personal business. And no, it doesn’t make other women less of a woman if they can’t or don’t want to do the same.
We are INDIVIDUALS, not all one robotic front.
So again. Point: Children are brought up to be amazing people by single parents, I am not attacking single parents. And some people could never be a single parent, and that’s fine too. Who the hell do people think they are to judge?! Ugh!
The ONLY reason I am bringing them into this is because anti-choicer’s always attack the woman, as if she got pregnant herself. If a woman is single and doesn’t want to be a single mother for whatever her reason may be, that’s her right. I don’t understand how anyone can not only attack the woman for the situation, and simply ignore the circumstances, not once mentioning the “male” who bailed out on her.
As I always say, it is none of your nor my business why someone has or had an abortion. But they do and they will, and I just wonder who the hell they think they are to judge a woman who is making the choice that is right for her, and ignoring the male who impregnated and then abandon her. The length of the relationship doesn’t matter, be it a day or 5 years; it’s none of your business and it seems to me these anti-choice advocates need to get something new to gossip about.
A few years ago I remember reading a story in the newspaper about two kids, both 12 but if I’m not mistaken one was younger than 12 (I will look into finding this article later and posting here). The little girl had his baby, they were living together in their parents house obviously, and he stabbed her. All of that is horrible but … babies, having, babies… Nothing about that is right to me, to say a child shouldn’t be able to access abortion (I do not know if that was even an issue in this situation it just is a story that has haunted me for years) is horrible; to say anyone shouldn’t be able to is horrible but a child having a child … what is wrong with you people?!
In a video I posted on youtube, “Brenda’s Gotta Baby” by Tupac, at the start there are a few clips of actual cases just like the story Tupac tells in the song. The song, obviously, he had based off of a true story. Young teens, teens, adults all women should have access to safe and legal birth control, abortion and things such as Plan B. Children growing up in situations like mine, like “Brenda” and like adults who simply cannot handle the pressure of childbirth/raising a child should never be forced into it. Until you’ve experienced what it can do to your mental state and your mind, you have absolutely NO right to talk to me about it.
I was told by one typical anti-choicer that I should have had therapy not an abortion. I’ve been in therapy since I was 6. There are things about my life and my childhood and the world that fetus would have been brought into as a child that you guys will never know. And yet these people sit around talking about us as if they have any idea what the real world is like. As if they know what trauma children are saved from with abortion; not only does abortion save women, it also saves CHILDREN from entering a world that no one would ask to enter.
Again, this post is not now saying nor later will it be saying that abortion is what we should do to children who will be born into poverty, abuse, single parent homes, etc. NOT AT ALL.
What this post is and will continue to be saying is abortion should not only be legal, access to things such as Plan B should not only be easily accessible to women and teenage girls, but the STIGMA on it needs to be BROKEN. These poor women who have to serve time in prison because they either didn’t have the option of abortion or because they felt pressured into keeping the child or whatever their story; TWO lives could have been saved in those situations and MANY lives could have been saved from being devastated if abortion was allowed to be exactly what it is: a medical procedure.
Instead, it is stigmatized and we -women- are told -wrongfully- we are killers, sinners, whores, etc for making a choice that saves our lives be it saving due to mental illness, or for other reasons such as it isn’t the right time, they don’t want to be a single mother, because they don’t want kids period, because they want to have a life and career and no responsibilities first; whatever it is, it saves lives. Why would anyone want a woman to have a child they don’t want? That blows my mind. But not only that; it also in many cases saves the lives of the would be child.
I had to get that off my chest. I’m going to go and take have a short nap again then will return to finish this blog off. Oh, and you can tell me how important adoption is all you want, but I’d like to know how many kids you and your friends will be adopting? Especially if they are over 6 and have emotional/behavioral problems? You can tell me how great these foster homes are, but I’ve seen more than one from the inside and I still see them because of what I do; so you can try lying to the rest of the world and women by saying they are happy and safe places but you aren’t fooling me or anyone else who knows what LIFE is.
Bottom line. If a woman wants an abortion, they should be able to get it without heartless “people” name calling and abusing them. An abortion is a medical procedure, that’s it. It doesn’t make anyone evil. And finally, to all you who attack women who have abortions because they don’t want to be a single parent; why the hell aren’t you attacking the alleged man who has left her on her own? Again, there are many, many amazing single parents out there and if they didn’t want abortion; that’s great. Being pro-choice doesn’t mean I think everyone should go have an abortion. It means I believe everyone should have the RIGHT to have a LEGAL and SAFE abortion without being persecuted by these horrible people with nothing better to do than judge the woman.